Fear and the Need to Fit In

Why do we fear not fitting in with our peers? Why do we spend so much time worrying about what will happen if people don't like us? How can we get past our fear? What can we do to conquer our fear? 

We live in community with others. Much of the time, that desire serves us well. It gives us the power of community to feel safe and protected. But it also creates fear. 

One of the biggest fears girls have is not being accepted by other girls. We spend hours worrying about not fitting in and how we can change ourselves so we are accepted. We try to wear the right clothes. Like the right things. Say the right things. We learn to like things we don't actually like. Fitting In

It feels lonely. But you are not alone. Every girl feels this way. You are not the exception.

This month, we let you peak in on a conversation between women as they talk about this issue and painful memories from when they were young. Our hope is by listening in, you learn practical things you can do to conquer your fear so you aren't controlled by it as you get older. 

Let's work together to stop fear and take its power and apply it to positive things. By doing so, we will change the world together.

-Sara Johnson


Think About:

  1. How can you stay true to who you uniquely are as a person, and build a community around you?
  2. Do you remember a time you felt like you didn't fit in or people didn't like you for who you are? What would you do differently in that situation now looking back?
  3. How can you support one another and encourage each other to be your true selves?
  4. What can you do for girls in your school that aren't included by others?
  5. If you conquer your fear, what will you do with all the extra power that gives you? How will you use it for good?



  • Pick Two Strategies from the Video. This month's video gave you eight tips for how to conquer fear. Review them. Pick two that you can start using today. What are they? Share with your troop or with a family member who can help you. When you've mastered those, if you still feel afraid, pick out two more and try those. Work until you find the best one for you. The strategies are: Remember things and people aren't always as they appear, work together on a cause bigger than you, focus on others instead of yourself, find someone you trust and tell them what you fear, remember the idea of something is often worse than what you fear, be vulnerable with others, remind yourself fear is the ONE thing we all have in common, and picture yourself conquering fear so you can use its power for big dreams. 


  • Crush Your Fear. Pick something you fear. Use one of the strategies to face it. Make a short video of you conquering your fear and send it to us so we can celebrate with you. 


  • Talk About Fear. With your troop or your family, talk about the things you fear. One of the most powerful ways to conquer fear is to bring it out of your thoughts and into the open. There really is something about sharing what you're afraid of that makes it less scary. Start today. Finding the courage to do this one thing will make a BIG difference.


Additional Resources:

Want to dive even deeper into your fear and uncover ways to beat it? Check out these resources for additional suggestions.

  • We found a great resource if one of the things you fear is failure. These 13 tips can help you keep the fear of failure in perspective.


  • Conquering fear often begins with figuring out where the fear is coming from. These tips and tricks can help you uncover where your fear comes from and provide you with strategies for how to conquer it.


  • Million Girl Army
    published this page in Video Library 2021-05-04 12:38:40 -0700
  • Million Girl Army
    published this page in Video Library 2019-03-12 09:59:25 -0700